Faith in the process

“Have faith in the process, trust that you are going to a place you are meant for, a place that might not make sense now but will make plenty of sense later. You will see that because this happened, that happened. And the order of it all, no matter how painful or beautiful, was exactly what it needed to be.” – Lewis Holmes via @holstee
So hard to remember this all the time 😯

I keep thinking I’m fine I’ll just keep on but it’s not working. My D&C was 7 weeks ago now and life is very much back to normal but I’m not.

A family member said today that everything for our family was all good news because my mum for an all clear & my sis in law got an all clear for something else and she was stood holding a beautiful baby boy. All wonderful amazing things that I am happy for them for, true blessings…

But I immediately had a chest thud and thought “is it? Not for me” and felt sad and guilty for the thought at the same time & I felt like crying.

What I did though was smiled and said yes it’s all wonderful and changed the subject.

I’m so over this suprise grief, where someone says something and your like wow where did that feeling come from….or are those tears…or why are you upset now???

I know theres a jouney here, but I would like to be done with it now thanks. I’m ready for my happy ending now.



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